Monday, October 31, 2011

No! Please No!!!!

Okay, bear with me here. I know there are lots of scary things about being pregnant/delivering a baby/parenting an infant, such as:

  • Registering (I have no idea what half of this stuff is)
  • Stretch marks
  • Pregnancy complications
  • Heartburn, constipation, headaches, nausea...
  • Contractions
  • Pushing a baby out of my body
  • Not being able to push a baby out of my body and having it surgically removed
  • Recovering
  • Not sleeping
  • Paying for a baby
But can I tell you something? I am not boycotting a c-section, or the lack of sleep, or even the not so enjoyable symptoms I've had so far. You know what I would be willing to pay money to avoid more than anything else?

Chubby face.

I know, I know. This is totally shallow and if in return I get a healthy baby it's worth it (blah blah blah). But seriously, can't a lady not want to have her face look like a giant balloon animal? Is it too much to ask that if everything else on my body is changed forever that at least I don't have to look like I just got my wisdom teeth removed for the last few months of pregnancy?

I know this is unavoidable, and if it happens, it happens; I'll make due. But still, I'm allowed to not like it, right?

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