When we decided to try to get pregnant the first time I got off the pill but didn't have a period for months. I went to my doctor and started some medicine to kick my body into gear and start a cycle on it's own, which it did, but unfortunately even though I was having periods I never ovulated. After months of this process coupled with lots of blood tests and other procedures to try and get my body functioning, we finally started using a medicine called Clomid to help me ovulate. After two months on this medicine (and almost a year and a half after getting off the pill) we finally got a big, fat positive!! We could not have been more excited. Months of tears and prayers went into those two little lines and I absolutely LOVED being pregnant. I didn't even mind the nausea, the headaches, the bloating... I even started wearing tighter clothes to show off my bump around 12 weeks, ha! I was so proud and excited to finally be pregnant nothing could slow me down.
Fast forward to this past summer... We have a very active toddler and his infancy was not an easy phase for me (due in part to my postpartum depression), so I was not necessarily in a rush to jump back into it again. My doctor had told me that before I wanted to get pregnant again I would need to get off the pill for a while to give my body time to naturally regulate if possible. If (and probably when) it did not, then we would do the same medicine (Clomid) that we used the first time to get pregnant. So after deciding we were about 6 months to a year away from having baby fever I got off the pill again. And that was it! First month off, 15 days later, baby #2 was created. Before I even took the test, I wondered if pregnancy could be a possibility. I had heartburn every night for a week (which I've only ever had when pregnant with Titus). I cried alllllllllllllll day at one point because two of my friends got bad news. I was having headaches every night and felt really bloated. I took a pregnancy test the day or two before and it was negative, so I chalked the symptoms up to nervous hysteria. Then like clockwork, on the day of my missed period, I got another big, fat positive.
Here's the deal, I KNOW how babies are made, so I totally understood that it was a possibility. But if you have ever walked the road of infertility before, then you can probably understand what I mean when I say I did not think this was a possibility for ME. I was in shock for two days. Then the whole third days I ugly girl cried. Bawled. Not because I didn't want the baby, but because I felt like TITUS was still a baby and I was doing something horrible by bringing in another kid and "forcing" him to grow up. I felt SO INCREDIBLY GUILTY. Of course this was just my hormones talking, we had always wanted Titus to have a sibling. But you can't talk the crazy out of a pregnant lady, that fetus runs the game for the next 9 months.
God is good.
Even though the timing didn't seem to fit, and I didn't want to miss out on a second of the sweet one-on-one time I have with Titus, God did something amazing. He created a miracle in a woman who never thought she'd do anything but see a million doctors and wait a million months and cry a million tears to have another baby. He gave me the one surprise I truly never saw coming, a natural pregnancy.
So here we are at week 13 and I felt my first tinge of excitement when I heard the heartbeat again last week. Not that I've been upset, but between balancing a crazy toddler and constant nausea I just haven't had time to focus on this pregnancy like I did the last one, so it is only now setting in that we are DEFINITELY going to have another baby. I haven't even taken any belly pics yet (I was neurotic about it last time, poor Hubby having to take all those pictures...) I'm a little wary to face the newborn months again after how difficult it was the first go round, but that's another day and another blog :) Here's to hoping for a LONG 6 months ahead of us so I can have plenty of time to mentally prepare!
How far along? 13 weeksTotal weight gain: zero so far, which is normal and I'm happy about!
Maternity clothes? Had to change to maternity jeans full time around 9 weeks. NINE WEEKS, PEOPLE. I showed quickly with Titus (maternity jeans at 12 weeks), but this is ridiculous. Oh well, yay for elastic pants!
Sleep: Eh. I'm a stomach sleeper, so it's all downhill from here. Although I do like the amount of space my pregnancy pillow clears out in the bed (sorry Garland!)
Best moment this week: Only throwing up once this week! But seriously, for the first few weeks I threw up almost every single day. Awful!
Miss Anything? Cooking without feeling nauseous. I have had to leave the kitchen to vomit more than once this pregnancy.
Movement: I know some of you may think this is crazy, but I felt little kicks this week! So excited for many more, movement is definitely the best part of pregnancy.
Food cravings: I did crave Mexican, then I HATED Mexican. PB&J sandwiches, pickles, and nerds/laffy taffy
Anything making you queasy or sick: Mexican food. Any raw meat while cooking. Onion smell. Diapers.
Gender: Don't know yet! Hoping for a girl :)
Labor Signs: nope
Symptoms: A little heartburn, LOTS of peeing already, super exhausted, and pretty nauseous
Belly Button in or out? In for now
Wedding rings on or off? on-no swelling yet
Happy or Moody most of the time: For this trimester I've probably been 60% moody. Not feeling good and being tired is a terrible combination for me :)
Looking forward to: Having a baby bump and not just looking chubby. Cleaning out the fourth bedroom to make it into Titus' big boy room. Finding out the gender (feels like it's taking forever!)