My Little Loves- August, 2014

I've been trying to get some pictures of the kids together, but with a wiggly baby and energetic toddler, it's almost impossible to get them both in the same frame! I promise I love them equally and I tried to get plenty of Titus as well as Haddie, but he is just a bundle of constant motion. It's a lot easier to get pictures of a baby that can't go anywhere :)

Mae

I have a wonderful husband who really is perfect for me. We have so much in common and our opinions on most topics from religion to politics to parenting are almost identical. Sometimes it feels like we're in a secret club with only two members. But that's not the only reason I love Garland, he has proven time and time again that I am lucky to call him my beloved. A few examples...

• He never wants me to have to drive alone. Even if he's at work in Rogers and we have plans in Bentonville he'll drive all the way home just to drive the 30 minutes back to Bentonville so we can ride together.
• He never comments on the state of the house even when I haven't had a chance to pick of from the whirlwind that is two dogs and a baby. He's a very neat person and yet he trusts that I will get everything done when I have time. I love that.
• He frequently empties the dishwasher and washes bottles by hand because he knows I hate those chores the most. 
• He always washes the dogs. I could do it, but he knows its much easier for him to control them so he just does it without complaining.
• He has never once seemed put out to change a diaper. Even when he knows its a bad one he just picks Titus up and I hear Garland talking to him on the changing table.
• When Titus and I have had a long day and I pass him off to Garland after work he gladly takes him. Never mind that he's just had a long day at the office, too, he jumps right into his role as husband/father as soon as he walks through the door.
• Words of affirmation are not his love language strong suit and it is not in the forefront of his brain to keep in touch throughout the day. However, because he knows it's important to me, hardly a day goes by where I don't receive a text message or a note on my mirror that says something sweet.
• He always goes to bed with me at night, no matter what. I know every couple is different, but it's always been our thing to climb in bed together no matter how early or late. Even on days when I'm thoroughly exhausted and want to fall asleep early, he's right there beside me, arm under my pillow and "I love you" whispered under his breath.

You may or may not know that Garland majored in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing in college. He wrote a book of poetry for his Honors Thesis on the Buffalo River area and I used to tease him that he hadn't written anything for me. Then for my birthday one year he surprised me with the sweetest present of all, a poem about me. If poetry is not your strong suite (as it is not mine) then I will tell you ahead of time that he wrote it about my eyes (this will make it a little less confusing). 

*sigh* Talk about making a girl go weak in her knees!

P.S. It is titled "Mae" because my middle name is Elizabeth and he calls me Ellie Mae as a nickname.

Mae

Garland Autry

I dare not speak of thee

For ‘twould be impossible to say.

(Though vain and ambitious words do attempt)

Come forth! Come forth! Slight, soft spray,

Against vast seas of white;

The most perfect of colors

Mingled together in one array.

And me, thine willing prey

Forever caught here in thy gaze.

Oh thy Father of mercies,

Woulds’t thou permit me to stay?

Alas, to thee I dare not speak

Unless of course to say,

“I am yours, I am yours.

And will be until the gray

O’’ertakes these foolish thoughts,

And still and waiting for thee I lay.””

Thankful for the Bad Stuff?

What a weird concept, being thankful for bad things happening. I had a great reminder of why we need to do this in my (extremely well timed) devotional this morning.

"Thank me for the very things that are troubling you. You are on the brink of rebellion, precariously close to shaking your fist in My Face. You are tempted to indulge in just a little complaining about my treatment of you. But once you step over that line, torrents of rage and self-pity can sweep you away. The best protection against this indulgence is thanksgiving. It is impossible to thank Me and curse Me at the same time.
Thanking Me for trials will feel awkward and contrived at first. But if you persist, your thankful words, prayed in faith, will eventually make a difference in your heart. Thankfulness awakens you to My Presence, which overshadows all your problems."

This was exactly what I needed to hear today. Ever since I had Titus there are moments where I find myself wallowing in self-pity over various things. Today was about to be one of those days until I read this! So as difficult as it might be, I am going to be thankful for the good AND the bad.

• I am thankful for my son. I am thankful that he is healthy and at home when many babies are in the hospital or even gone to be with you.
• I am thankful that you have made his reflux better, even if he still has trouble from time to time.
• I am thankful that he is a good sleeper at night. 
• I am thankful that he is asleep right now in his nursery for a nap for the first time in a very long time! Even if this doesn't continue to happen always, I am thankful that you have let it happen sometimes. I am thankful that you are giving my sweet baby peace right now and that he is resting in your arms when he can't rest in mine.
• I am thankful for each smile and giggle that you bless me with. I understand now why Jesus always wanted to be with the little children when he was on earth; I truly feel the joy of the Lord when my chubby little boy smiles up at me.
• I am thankful for a husband that provides even when that job requires him to have a pretty hectic schedule. I am thankful that you gave Titus a daddy that WANTS to be a daddy and enjoys spending time with him.
• I am thankful that you have given me the opportunity to stay home and start a ministry with my son. A lot of times I miss my job and wish that I were still working, but I know that the fruit of my new ministry will be fulfilling and I praise you for that.
• I am thankful for lots of love and support from family and friends as transitioned to this new season of life. Sometimes all it takes is a little reassurance from people who have already been through it to know I will make it through, too.
• I am thankful for your promise to never leave me. Even on the days where I hardly get any sleep or Titus is fussy or Garland is gone and I'm missing him, you are always right there with me. You love me indefinitely and you have given me many more blessings than I deserve.

⁴  Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. ⁶  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:4-6

Maternity Pics: Better Late than Never!

So I may not be pregnant anymore, but I couldn't miss the chance to share with you the beautiful maternity pictures that Brooke Robinson took for us! She is an unbelievably wonderful woman and a great photographer to boot! You can check out her other photos at brookerobinson.com. Enjoy!

The Birth Story

Here is the birth story!

On April 10th I was 37 1/2 weeks pregnant and at 12:30 am my water broke while I was sleeping. It was just like being in a movie! Just a little bit of water leaked out so I went to the bathroom and prayed that if this was the real deal God would make it obvious. Sure enough, I stood up and the leak turned into a steady stream. I woke Garland up (who handled the whole situation like a champ, definitely the calm one of the two of us!) and we started packing our last minute items (we already had a lot of stuff packed). We checked into triage around 1:15 and they had me do a test to make sure my water broke. This was ironic because in the minutes I spent waiting for the test to be done a puddle had formed around my ankles because I was leaking so much fluid! At 2am they finally cleared us for full-on labor and measured me at 1cm dilated and 0% effaced (at this point we knew it would be a long day). We moved to a Labor and Delivery room and starting making all the calls to the grandparents and sending texts to our friends.

We tried to sleep some throughout the night, but between the uncomfortable couch for Garland and the contractions I was having, we didn't even get a wink (we were way too excited). The grandparents started showing up around 3am and we were having a really happening party! By 7am I had not progressed any so they decided to start Pitocin and estimated that I would be in labor for at least another 8-10 hours. I made it through about an hour of Pitocin contractions before asking for the epidural and this was a GREAT decision! I could feel my legs but I didn't feel any pain, and I thought getting my IV put in hurt much worse than getting my epidural put in (I say "to each their own" when it comes to deciding on whether to use pain meds during labor or not, but I will tell you this, if you are going to have a long labor or if they have to use induction meds, I would DEFINITELY recommend it!). Another benefit of the epidural: It killed my appetite, which was a total blessing because the only thing making me grumpy at this point was being hungry and eating only ice chips!

Fast forward to 10am and I had progressed to a 2.5 and 70% effaced. By noon I have reached a 4 and 90%, so things were beginning to move quicker (the nurse said getting to 4 is the longest part). Here is where we enter what I now refer to as "the dark hours." I started feeling some pain from my contractions (which I hadn't felt since I got the epidural) and called the nurse in, who said it wasn't unusual to start feeling a little pain as the contractions progressed. She hooked me up to the epidural push pump and told me I could pump extra medicine every 15 minutes into my direct epidural line for an extra kick. I started pushing the button but for the next 45 minutes the pain only got progressively worse. At this point the pain was getting so strong that we kicked everyone out of the room, turned off the lights, and Garland and I sat there in the dark breathing through the contractions. The anesthesiologist came in after this had been going on for two hours and checked the push pump, which was working fine. He then gave me a speech that can basically be summarized as, "labor can be painful, you probably just have low pain tolerance and need to suck it up." As he was leaving, he turned to the nurse and said we should check to make sure the epidural line was still in my back, as a few and far between times he had seen it fall out. Sure enough, they flipped me over and all the epidural medicine was pooled under the tape and the epidural line wasn't in my back whatsoever. At this point I'm having contractions every minute to minute and a half and I'm bent over the bed waiting for him to reinsert it and he decides NOW is a good time to mull over how it came out. He kept asking if we'd shoved a pillow down by my back or moved the blanket weird and I just wanted to scream WHO THE FREAK CARES PUT IT BACK IN!!! They finally put it back and within 15 minutes I felt relief. They measured me right after that (at 2:30pm) and I was at a 7 and 90% (from what I've been told from other moms, contractions at a 7 while on Pitocin are nothing to sneeze at. This actually secured my choice to get an epidural because I got to experience labor without medicine and liked it much better before!).


By 3:30 the party was back on and I was feeling great again, so I was really surprised when the nurse told me I was at a 10 and 100% and we were ready for Titus to get here! AHHHHHH!!!!! Everyone left the room and they put me in the stirrups and it was all I could do to keep from giggling because I was so nervous and was I really going to push a baby out of me?! The nurse started me on my pushes and after about 10 minutes my doctor arrived (I got lucky and delivered during the day so I got to deliver with my prenatal doctor). Once Dr. Mason had me pushing things got a little strange. From the combination of low blood pressure, not eating for 20 hours, and not sleeping, I started having what they call "vasovagal episodes" which is a fancy name for my heart rate dropping so low I would pass out. Y'all, I was PASSING OUT DURING LABOR. It was the strangest thing, I would be pushing and when I would wake up only a couple of seconds would have passed, but I would just hear my doctor saying, "You HAVE to push." Garland told me later that when I would pass out my head would fall back to my pillow and he just thought I was giving up! Ha! I finally worked up the words to tell them I was passing out and my doctor gave me a couple more breaths between pushes and I didn't pass out any more after the first 3 times.


At 4:16pm after 18 minutes of pushing Titus James Autry was born into the world with a head of hair that would make a grown man jealous. He was born face up and came out so fast that Dr. Mason literally had to drop to a knee to catch him because he FELL. OUT. Titus was 6lb 3oz, 18 inches long, and I will forever remember praying for that first cry. I can't say enough about how incredible my husband was throughout the whole process, he did exactly what I needed him to do and was an amazing daddy from the first moment on. While they were stitching me up (I turned to my doctor in my delusion and said, "Okay doc, what's the damage?" he told me I had a 2nd degree tear which I was glad I couldn't feel!) Garland went and stood with Titus and the nurses and brought pictures to me on his iphone. I had tears streaming down my face and just kept praising our faithful God for giving us this baby we had prayed so long to be able to conceive.


I don't think I have ever been more thankful in my whole life than in that moment.

A Respectful Wife

Lately I have been listening to Pastor Mark Driscoll's Real Marriage series and finding it very convicting. Driscoll is notorious for being extremely straight forward and not tiptoeing around topics that deal with hard biblical truths (I happen to really like this about him). There is one podcast in particular, The Respectful Wife, that was delivered by Driscoll but mostly written by his wife Grace, and it has left me really convicted lately.


I think that sometimes I have been mistaking respecting Garland as a person with respecting him as my husband. I really, truly look up to my husband as a man; I think he strives to be more like Christ in everything he does, is always willing to pour into other believers and students, he is constantly studying and growing in the word and his personal walk, and he's one of the most steadfast, faithful Christians I've ever met. But I'm coming to the realization that I can 100% respect him as a man without always respecting him as my spouse, which is not an easy truth to swallow.


So what's the difference? Here are some questions from Grace to give us a better idea of how you can tell if you are being a respectful wife:

• Do I "notice, regard, honor, prefer, defer to, encourage, love, and admire" my husband?
• Do I have a heart of respect for my husband?
• Do I think he's competent?
• Do I think positive thoughts about him instead of focusing on his flaws?
• What do I say about my husband?
• Do I tear him down in front of other people?
• Do I wait to disagree with him until a time when I can do so respectfully and privately?

Some of these things I do pretty well on. Rarely do I dwell on Garland's mistakes in my heart; within my mind he is really is the best guy that has ever existed. I definitely defer to him for judgement on family matters and respect his final opinion. I know that he loves and respects me enough that no decision will ever be made that I'm uncomfortable with or without speaking to me about it first. I love, admire, and encourage Garland, sometimes to the point of embarrassing him because he hates receiving compliments (ha!).

But there are some things that I know I am definitely not so great at. I know that because we flirt by teasing each other it sometimes seems like I think everything he does is silly. Don't get me wrong, he does do a lot of ridiculous things, but if I'm not balancing out our joking with public encouragement then it just comes across as mockery. I never want anyone to think I find my husband incompetent because I truly do think he is one of the wisest men I know.

I am also not great at holding my tongue in front of other people. If a topic comes up that is a "button pusher" and brings up anger or resentment or frustration in me, I really struggle to table my thoughts and comments until I can talk to him in private. Especially since I love a good debate, this is very difficult for me. What starts as an innocent discussion can quickly morph into a heated argument without me even stopping to think if this presents Garland and I as a team or not. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT saying that wives should never disagree or lovingly joke with their husbands. I'm just saying I know that the way I communicate that sometimes can be hateful instead of playful.

I confessed all of this to Garland after listening to the podcast and asked him to help me be accountable for being a respectful wife, even in front of others. Unfortunately, he's had to lovingly remind me a couple of times (always in public, of course, that is my respect weakness), and I had to bite my tongue. And even as I sat there feeling convicted/embarrassed of my poor behavior, I could still hear my flesh telling me, "Be upset! You have the right to say whatever you want, whenever you want! Don't let him stop you from "being yourself." ' Ugh, that is some sick-nasty selfishness, pure and simple.

So if you are like me and struggle with being a respectful wife, here are some great tips from Grace Driscoll on how to grow in this area:

1. Talk to your husband about what it looks like to be respectful and ask him to honestly assess your ability to respect him. Ask him to lovingly hold you accountable.
2. Pray for your husband constantly. If there is disrespect in your head there will be disrespect in your heart which will come out in your speech. If your thoughts are constantly prayerful toward him then they won't be able to reach the ugly place.
3. Keep a journal of all the things you notice and love about your husband. As you write them down, pray and thank the Lord for giving you your husband. 
4. Share some of these things you love about your husband with him as an easy way to encourage him. --Garland and I do this by writing notes on each other's bathroom mirrors with a dry erase marker (sticky notes work well too!)
5. Build him up in front of others. No matter what, people should always recognize you as your husband's #1 fan and see you as a joint team, as one.
6. Instead of continuously nagging him about fixing a bad habit or something he needs to work on, pray that God will change his heart. Your complaining can't even begin to compete with the wrath of the Holy Spirit on a believer's conscience. 

Ephesians 5:33- "Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."

Babymoon

Babymoon: a trip you take before you have a baby (duh).
We were planning to go back to our favorite all-inclusive resort in Cancun next May, but since baby Autry will arrive the month before we scratched that plan. Instead, we decided to take a trip this fall (while I can still travel) to a place we've talked about visiting for a long time... Boston! Turns out the Fosters wanted to visit the New England coast as well, so we combined our trips and went to Boston and then Kennebunkport, Maine, where we relaxed in the beautiful little seaside town for a couple days. Needless to say, my inability to participate in the pub activities and my absolute hatred for seafood was a slight damper for a trip to the Northeast, but I had a fabulous time nonetheless. Here are a few of my favorite memories!

Day 1, we went to this unbelievably beautiful park while on our way to the shopping district (helloooooo, H&M)

 

Day 2: We walked the Freedom Trail which took us to all the historic building and locations in downtown Boston. We started at the Old State House which was really beautiful. Right behind this building is where the Boston Massacre took place.

 

We went to the Old North Church (where the famous "One if by land, two if by sea" signal was sent) and it was beautiful! Each family had their own private pew box. Garland and I took a moment to soak it all in, of course.

 And Simon and Adriane decided to give the hymnal a once over

 Beautiful downtown skyline!

Garland was SO EXCITED to go to Fenway Park where the Boston Red Sox play. It was cold and cloudy and rainy, but what can I say, I like to make my man happy, so I went along :) 

Once we got to Maine, Adriane got straight to business! The seafood portion of the trip was lost on me as I absolutely hate seafood. Everyone else enjoyed it though! (I got chicken fingers...) 

It started to rain so I had to pull out my umbrella, but the pics actually turned out pretty cute with it in them! 

 Harbor in Ogunquit

Our B&B in Kennebunkport, Maine: The Maine Stay. This place was really incredible! The owners booked all our reservations and had an incredible breakfast in the morning. 

This is George Bush Sr.'s house in Kennebunkport! He was actually born and raised there and now has this home for his retirement. He and Barbara spend their summers there and they were in town while we were there! Too bad we didn't have a sighting :(

On the beach in Kennebunkport 

 Onto sunnier skies! By the time we were driving back to Boston the rain had cleared out and we took a beautiful hike up the beach in Ogunquit.

Last but not least, we had to stop and soak up some brain power at the Harvard campus. It really, truly is a beautiful campus and the neighborhood it is in, Cambridge, is a great place to hang out and eat!

The End!

30 Day Encouragement Challenge

I recently read a post about a 30-Day Challenge for wives to encourage their husbands. It didn't really sound like there was much to it so I hadn't thought much about it. However, once I dug in a little deeper I realized that a) this is something I would like to do more and b) this is definitely something I can improve on. I am a words of affirmation kind of girl, so encouraging people through words is something I like. Since Garland doesn't really excel at words of affirmation (he tries, he really does, it just never crosses his mind that he should say sweet things), I think this could also help him to grow in this love language just by seeing how I do it.


So here's how it works: For 30 days:
-You can't say anything negative about your husband...to your husband... or to anyone else about your husband.
-Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband.


I hate to admit this but my first thought was, "Do I have 30 days worth of original compliments to give Garland?" Sad maybe, but true. However, if you go to this link (Revive Our Hearts), you can find a PDF document which gives you scripture and ideas for encouragement for each day. There were things I had thought of (thanking him for being a handy man, leading our marriage, etc.) and things I hadn't thought of (thanking him for being wise fiscally, turning from the temptation of lust, his specific spiritual strengths). 


Garland and I are also a very sarcastic and silly couple. We love to tease each other, it's one of the main ways we flirt with each other (hehe). However, I can totally see how sometimes to the outside world this could be taken as us not building each other up, so for 30 days I'm going to try and not make fun of my sweet husband at all! This may be very (VERY) difficult as he provides some great material (just sayin).


Last but not least, I love that they include in the challenge that you may fail a day or two! It makes my heart happy that grace is prevalent even in something like this. So if I slip up, it's okay! I can start again the next day and hope to do better.

Remember When...

Garland and I have been together for about 4 1/2 years now and earlier today I saw this picture come up on my Facebook and couldn't believe how young we looked! These pictures were taken the summer we started dating (2007) when we were 20 and 22 years old respectively. I look at these two kids and can’t believe how much has happened since then. Not that I view myself as a wise adult now, but looking back I know that I was so naïve about almost everything.

P.S. Check out how lovey dovey Garland Autry used to be! Ahhh to go back to the days when he was trying to win my affection… J

(To answer your question, yes, I am embarrassed that we were in this prom pose. I don’t know what happened)

Now here we are, almost five years later, and I feel more at home in his arms every day. We have been through our share of trials and I know there are more to come, but with these also comes the joy of knowing you will always have at least one person by your side.

-Sarah