Thursday, December 16, 2010

Pregnancy is a Privilege, not a Promise

I graduated in 2010 from the U of A with my Masters in Elementary Education, but realized while I was intern teaching that I did not want to teach. However, the timing was definitely in God's hands because he had the perfect job waiting for me. He worked out a lot of  hurdles to use my gifts in a small way to bless others at Loving Choices, a pregnancy crisis center. Basically, my job is to meet with women on a daily basis who find themselves in a crisis pregnancy (a pregnancy in which they didn't plan/want) and educate them on their options as well as direct them toward community resources. I also get to share the love of Christ with them and offer them the chance to follow the one man who will love them unconditionally.
 I LOVE my job! I really, sincerely, could not have written out a job description for a job that I could have created and liked it more than this. It's part time (leaving me time to clean, cook, and grocery shop during my off days), I work with awesome women, it's a Christ-centered environment, and it involves babies!

However, of all the great parts about my job, there is one major drawback; watching girls in sometimes painful, abusive, or unbelievable circumstances mourn the blessing of being able to get pregnant. When I'm meeting with these women, my first reaction is to think, "How awful this must be for you! I can't imagine how hard this must be, please let me help you." I know they are in unimaginable situations that bring judgement, alienation, and pain from the ones they love the most (parents, friends, father of baby). Some of these girls are barely old enough to be able to conceive, while others are coming in with three kids in tow, sometimes including an infant that is only a few months old. For this, I do not envy these women nor judge them. My heart breaks for them, I hold them while they cry, and I pray that the Holy Spirit intercedes for them as they seek the Lord for what could possibly be the first time in their lives.
The other part of counseling that is hard is watching woman after woman walk in through our doors and be disgusted, angry, depressed, hateful, and sometimes completely nonchalant about the fact that they are carrying new life. The thoughts of pity, fear, and helplessness are so pervasive and overwhelming that it is almost impossible for them to think about how special it truly is that they could get pregnant at all. I'm not saying that they are all in a situation to parent, I can understand why some of them are not ready to become moms yet. But when I think about some of my dear friends that are have been trying to conceive for years I can't help but wonder how they could take getting pregnant for granted.
While driving home from work some days, I can't help but almost say out loud to myself, "You have no idea how lucky you are that you can even get pregnant." Not to be confused with "You have no idea how lucky you are to be pregnant," because they are obviously in a crisis situation that is not one I envy. But the possibility, the chance that new life can begin within you, that's not something every woman gets; but it seems to be something a lot of women forget is only a privilege, not a promise.

I will stand beside any woman no matter what her decision; parenting, abortion, or adoption. Loving someone like Christ loves us means still walking along side them when sin is present. On a daily basis, I fail my Savior and reject him, yet he still calls to me. Why then, would I think myself so righteous that I would not do the same for others? I am not worthy to sit in the judgement seat, so instead, I prefer to just offer a heart that is open to anyone in need, regardless of their past choices.

Maybe some people understand how hard it can be to conceive and are calloused toward pregnancy anyway. I choose to believe that most people are just ignorant of the likelihood of pregnancy until they are walking in the shoes of someone who is trying desperately to conceive and having no such luck. Either way, pregnancy is a precious gift from God that is intended as a BLESSING whether the pregnancy was planned or not, so let us rejoice in the possibility of new life always.

Then Esau looked at the women and children and asked, “Who are these people with you?”
   “These are the children God has graciously given to me, your servant,” Jacob replied.
-Genesis 33:5

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