Thankful for the Bad Stuff?

What a weird concept, being thankful for bad things happening. I had a great reminder of why we need to do this in my (extremely well timed) devotional this morning.

"Thank me for the very things that are troubling you. You are on the brink of rebellion, precariously close to shaking your fist in My Face. You are tempted to indulge in just a little complaining about my treatment of you. But once you step over that line, torrents of rage and self-pity can sweep you away. The best protection against this indulgence is thanksgiving. It is impossible to thank Me and curse Me at the same time.
Thanking Me for trials will feel awkward and contrived at first. But if you persist, your thankful words, prayed in faith, will eventually make a difference in your heart. Thankfulness awakens you to My Presence, which overshadows all your problems."

This was exactly what I needed to hear today. Ever since I had Titus there are moments where I find myself wallowing in self-pity over various things. Today was about to be one of those days until I read this! So as difficult as it might be, I am going to be thankful for the good AND the bad.

• I am thankful for my son. I am thankful that he is healthy and at home when many babies are in the hospital or even gone to be with you.
• I am thankful that you have made his reflux better, even if he still has trouble from time to time.
• I am thankful that he is a good sleeper at night. 
• I am thankful that he is asleep right now in his nursery for a nap for the first time in a very long time! Even if this doesn't continue to happen always, I am thankful that you have let it happen sometimes. I am thankful that you are giving my sweet baby peace right now and that he is resting in your arms when he can't rest in mine.
• I am thankful for each smile and giggle that you bless me with. I understand now why Jesus always wanted to be with the little children when he was on earth; I truly feel the joy of the Lord when my chubby little boy smiles up at me.
• I am thankful for a husband that provides even when that job requires him to have a pretty hectic schedule. I am thankful that you gave Titus a daddy that WANTS to be a daddy and enjoys spending time with him.
• I am thankful that you have given me the opportunity to stay home and start a ministry with my son. A lot of times I miss my job and wish that I were still working, but I know that the fruit of my new ministry will be fulfilling and I praise you for that.
• I am thankful for lots of love and support from family and friends as transitioned to this new season of life. Sometimes all it takes is a little reassurance from people who have already been through it to know I will make it through, too.
• I am thankful for your promise to never leave me. Even on the days where I hardly get any sleep or Titus is fussy or Garland is gone and I'm missing him, you are always right there with me. You love me indefinitely and you have given me many more blessings than I deserve.

⁴  Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. ⁶  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:4-6

This Magic Moment

I was having a discussion with my friend Stephanie the other day about when salvation happens. You've got two options:
1) Salvation happens the moment you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins and you repent of your sins.
2) Salvation happens when you begin walking with Christ and living your life for him.

Both Stephanie and I leaned toward option 1, belief is all that is required for salvation. John 3:16 doesn't say "If you are a solid bro and do a daily devotional and serve the poor and pray all the time then you're saved." But one question that I couldn't get past for option 1 was can you believe in the gospel story yet never live it out and still be saved? It would seem possible, since all around the world (and especially in America) there are people who claim Christianity and would even say they believe Jesus was the son of God who died for us, yet they live for themselves and bear no fruit of redemption.
Which lead to a second question, If you never live it out and don't have an actual relationship with the Lord, are you still saved? My answer to this question is this: I don't really think option 1 or 2 is wholly correct, because I don't think you can truly understand the gospel and NOT have a relationship with Christ. At the point that you feel the full weight of what Christ has done for you, his grace becomes irresistible. 

Take myself as a case study. I grew up in a Christian home and got baptized at the age of 8. I would say that I knew the story of Jesus dying on the cross and I really believed it. I never once doubted that Jesus was who he said he was and did what he said he did. I followed all the rules of the bible and that was my religion, the rules. But this was based on fear; fear of getting in trouble, fear of having a bad reputation, etc., instead of what it should have been based on: The need to walk in the way of the Lord because I loved him so much I couldn't help but want to be more like him.

For me, I would say I became a Christian at the age of 8 when I first believed, but my process of sanctification (becoming more like Christ) didn't really start until I was going to college. I vividly remember being at a night of worship and hearing a song that finally made me realize the most important thing about being a Christian. Not following rules like I'd always thought, but realizing the weight of my sin and how much it cost Jesus to take it on. I broke. I literally knelt on the floor surrounded by hundreds of people and sobbed and just THANKED HIM for ever thinking I could be worth his Son's death. I don't know why God chose that moment to show me how much I had been living for myself, but I am thankful he revealed to me just how imperfect I really am so that I could begin having an honest relationship with him.

Here's the song, I will never forget the words as long as I live.

Beloved

Lord it was You, 

You created the heavens.

And Lord, it was Your hands

That put the stars in their place.

Lord, it was Your voice

That commands the morning.

'Cause even oceans and their waves bow at your feet, O Lord.

Lord, who am I

Compared to Your glory?

Lord, who am I

Compared to Your majesty?

Lord it was You, 

You created the heavens.

And Lord, it was Your hands

That put the stars in their place.

Lord, it was Your voice

That commands the morning.

'Cause even oceans and their waves bow at your feet, O Lord.

'Cause I'm your beloved, 

Your creation, 

And You love me as I am.

You've called me, chosen

For Your kingdom.

Unashamed to call me your own-

I'm your beloved.

Maternity Pics: Better Late than Never!

So I may not be pregnant anymore, but I couldn't miss the chance to share with you the beautiful maternity pictures that Brooke Robinson took for us! She is an unbelievably wonderful woman and a great photographer to boot! You can check out her other photos at brookerobinson.com. Enjoy!

2 Months

I can't believe it's been two months since I've blogged! It is an anomaly of being a new mom that you can be completely busy all day and yet get nothing accomplished. Promise I'll get back to blogging soon! I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around about everything I've learned in the past few months... For now, I'll just give you the two month update! Can you believe he's 8 weeks old??

Dear Titus,
At two months old you...

• Weight 10lbs and are almost out of newborn clothes and diapers (but 0-3 month clothes and size 1 diapers still look huge on you, so we'll have to wait a little bit before moving up!)
• Eat a 5oz bottle for your last feeding at night and the rest of the day you are breastfed.
• You are such a slow eater! You eat for 40 minutes every 2.5 hours. This is really cramping mommy's schedule, so please start eating faster ;)
• You have developed Acid Reflux and started Zantac 3 weeks ago. Last week you started choking on acid during the night and had to sleep on mommy's chest to be able to breathe :( It was very scary but we switched you to Prevacid and it seems to be working better. You still gurgle a lot during the day from the acid, but it doesn't seem to bother you too much!
• In the past 4-5 days you have started settling into a general schedule. You eat for the last time between 8-9pm and then sleep until 4am. You wake up and feed then go back to sleep at 5am (after 40ish minutes of feeding, a diaper change, and sometimes 10-15 minutes of soothing to get back down), then sleep until 8-8:30am. At this point the schedule basically ends, lol, and you just eat and nap whenever you want throughout the rest of the day.
• When you are wide awake you can hold your head up on your own. When you get sleepy it starts to bob all over the place.
• You seem like you are bored with not being able to move enough and are ready to walk! You kick your legs all the time and love standing.
• Sometimes you smile but it never seems in response to anything I'm doing. In fact, when I try to make you laugh you cross your eyes and turn your mouth into a little "o" and just stare at me like I'm an idiot!
• Napping is still hard for you and you don't do it very soundly. But you sleep very soundly at night, so it's okay by me!
• You don't like being put into your car seat very much but you always fall asleep in the car. You do, however, love being in your stroller and the Baby Bjorn!
• Your favorite thing to do is look out the window from the living room recliner. You sit on your boppy lounger and just stare and coo and kick for up to an hour.
• You prefer tummy time on mommy or daddy instead of the floor, but it doesn't matter because you are already a very strong little boy!
• You play with your tongue all the time, I guess it's because it's the only thing you really have any control over :)

When you fall asleep in my arms I think that I will never ever move again because I don't want the moment to end. Your sweet, sleeping face and gentle sighs and giggles as you nod off make everything else worth while. I can't wait until you can do it on purpose when you are awake!