Thoughts on 30: Who Was that Woman in the Pictures?

Eight years ago I was in full-on wedding preparation mode. With just a couple weeks left until our wedding, I got my first professional makeover. I walked out of Sephora with products I absolutely loved, new techniques I’d never heard of, and a lot less money in my bank account. As years went by, I finished grad school, started a new job, then eventually had two babies and became a stay at home mom. With so much going on, makeup (and hair and clothes) became a much lower priority and I stopped putting much thought into what I was buying and instead just grabbed whatever was quickest and cheapest. 

But then a weird thing started to happen. When I saw photos of myself, I would have this moment of surprise and disorientation almost every time because the image didn’t look like how I felt. Anyone ever had this moment? At the time, my kids were 3 and 1 and I hadn't taken much time for myself since starting our family. And the thing was, it wasn't that I was having a pity party over the way I looked. It was just that I would look at the photo of that moment, and I would remember exactly how I felt and what I was saying and doing, and those feelings were never frumpy or lost or forgotten like the way I often felt I looked. Inside I felt young and bright eyed and like my life was full of wonderful surprises and joys, and it was bizarre to feel like I didn't seen that in myself in a still shot.

So I decided to make a change. And hear me say this: I truly believe your physical body is not what defines you. Even at my most out of shape or least trendy, I was always witty and smart and kind and no amount of exterior change could take that away from me. But I also decided there was nothing wrong with enjoying the fun things that come along with being a girl. I was confident in who I was because I was confident in who made me, but now I was ready to look in the mirror and see the girl I felt like I was inside, the girl who had been lost while focusing on everyone else but herself.

So I got more serious about having a healthier diet and regular exercise. I went and got a new haircut and started researching makeup. I had no idea what contouring was or a beauty blender sponge or even what shade I should pick in anything. And it bears repeating, the hair and makeup were not what made me me, but I was having SO much fun learning and playing around with the options and doing something that was just for me.

I went back to the basics, and in this case, that meant a lot of Google research and Youtube videos (which is so fun, but you will get sucked in for DAYS watching those makeup tutorials). I wrote all about the products that were a part of my beauty evolution here, you can read it to see all the ones I love the very most. But most importantly, I realized this journey was only a little about the products and a lot about taking the time to invest in myself and the things I enjoyed. My makeup looks better now, but more importantly, when I see pictures of myself I see the joy and energy that I am experiencing at the time. The photos feel like me, like how I see myself.

So take heart, my friends! It's never too late to start over and it's never selfish to spend a little time on yourself.

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Compliment Worthy Crockpot Meals

Hey friends! I've started a new adventure writing some fun blogs for Aisle9, a website with tons of quick tips and fun articles, with some especially good stuff for women! I was writing down some of my compliment winning crockpot meals to give to a friend as a wedding gift, and decided that enough people asked me for the recipes it just made sense for it to be my first blog. So if you'd like to check it out, the link is below! I'll be posting more articles in the future on all kinds of topics, like hair and beauty, cooking, workouts, gift guides, decorating and crafts, parenting... the list goes on!

Stay tuned and take a peek!

Five Compliment Worthy Crockpot Recipes for Busy Moms

Photo via Damn Delicious

A Season for Everything

Do you ever feel like you just have so much on your plate you don't even know where to begin? As a mom of toddlers, I feel like I'm constantly forgetting things and dropping the ball. But every parent who's a life stage ahead of me says you shouldn't expect for it to slow down; kids grow bigger and they get busier. The big picture can be overwhelming, I don't even always know what to tackle first on my to-do list. The questions start swarming in my head and I feel like I need 50 hours in a day instead of 24. 

Am I teaching my kids good character?  Do I participate enough in my husband's ministry job? Should I play a more active role in our church? Am I exercising enough? Am I eating healthy enough? Will God allow us to have another baby? If we can even get pregnant, how tight will our budget be with three kids while I'm staying home? Should I go back to work? Should we sign the kids up for sports already? Should I lead a small group? Am I teaching my kids about volunteering and serving others? Should I continue pursuing a career in graphic design after the kids are in school? Or do something with more of a steady income? When will I have time to finish all these house projects? Am I modeling how deal with hard things to my kids? What am I doing with the specific gifts God has given me? What are we going to do about the broken dishwasher? Should I be discipling more young women? How are we going to pay this bill? Am I meeting my husband's needs? Have I even seen him much this week or have things been too crazy? What even are my needs right now? When will I have time to do all this laundry and clean the house? HOW WILL I FIND TIME FOR ALL THESE THINGS??

Spinning, spinning, spinning.

So many questions, so many directions. And then it hits me, I'll never be able to solve all those questions and problems in a given week/month/year. But here's a question I can focus on:

What is my God-given purpose in THIS season? 

For each of us, this is different. For all of us, it's important. 

Some of you may have read that and known IMMEDIATELY what your God-given purpose is in this season. Some of you may have had a lightbulb moment that this is exactly why you feel so lost, you're unsure of what task you should be focusing on. Both of those are ok. Now is when you allow yourself time to think it over.

For me, once I posed the question and cleared out the clutter in my mind, it was pretty clear. I feel very peaceful about being home with my kids, that is a very specific role and list of duties that I can nail down. For this season, I need to focus on helping Titus learn to express his emotions in a healthy way and how to problem solve instead of exploding. He's having way fewer of his out-of-control tantrums, and I really believe that is happening because I've been home with him and his life is consistent. This is my purpose.

God gave me that little boy and knew I would make a great mommy for him, that I could handle the outbursts and love him through it; that I could calm him down and bring him comfort like no one else. This is my purpose. 

That when he wants to start screaming because he's unable to put into words how he feels, he needs me to look him in the eyes and explain things to him in an adult manner that most people don't use for kids, because he's unique and it works for him. This is my purpose. 

To tie shoes and brush hair and cut up apples because sometimes, you're too small to do things on your own. This is my purpose. 

To sit down with my kids and tickle them and teach them that joy can trump all other emotions if you let it. This is my purpose. 

To empower my little girl to be more than pretty by showering her with compliments about how she's smart and funny and silly and sweet and brave. This is my purpose. 

To teach them that sometimes, life isn't all about you. They don't know how much I serve them now, but one day they will look back and realize the sacrifices I have made (just like I did with my mom) and that sometimes loving someone means putting their needs first. This is my purpose. 

That's mine. Yours is yours. None is better, none is worse. There are so many things I could be doing or focusing on. But when you try to juggle them all, no one person or thing gets your full ability. I feel so much clearer when I let the other things fall away and lean into my purpose in this stage.

There will come a time for all the rest, because there is a season for everything. A season for laughter and dancing, a season for mourning and tears. A season for hard work and a season for respite. A season for speaking many words and a season for speaking few while we hear others instead. A season for health and a season where your body doesn't act or look how you want. A season for serving others and a season for recognizing your own needs. A season for your anger and a season for offering forgiveness. A season for pushing through trials and a season for relishing the good days. A season of recognition and a season of humble selflessness. A season for independence and a season for vulnerability. A season to celebrate new life and a season to let go in death. A season to cry out in anguish and a season to cry out in praise.

But not all of those have to be accomplished all at once.

For me, this is a season of service, sacrifice, and nurturing. Realizing my God-given purpose for this season doesn't make all of those other questions magically disappear. And it definitely doesn't mean there won't be a season in the future where my God-given purpose is directed at one of them. But it does make me feel washed over in grace to know I can focus on the task at hand and set a more realistic bar for what is expected of me.

Haddie: 2016 wrap up

Dear Haddie,

At almost 3 years old...

• You weigh 33 pounds and are busting out of your 2T clothes. You are still petite, but you are getting too tall for most of your pants.
• You sleep from about 8:00pm-7:00am and take a two hour nap about half the days of the week
• Your favorite foods are cheese, yogurt, pickles, bananas, pizza, carrots, chips, and anything that you can dip (you love the "white sauce" *ranch* and salsa). You recently ate a bowlful of plain spinach, which was hysterical since you generally hate vegetables.
• You sing ALLLLL the time. When you wake up in the morning, I hear you singing in you crib and that's how I know you're awake
• You like singing so much you will pretend to know the words to songs you've never heard just so you can sing along
• You want to wear princess dresses all the time and have gotten much more picky about what kind of shoes or bows you wear
• Everywhere we go you take something with us. It's never the same thing, but you always need something by your side (today it was your piggy bank)
• You give REALLY good hugs. Like, squeeze your arms and legs around me and hold on super tight, hugs
• You're favorite Christmas present was the giant dollhouse you got and your favorite birthday presents were dress up dolls
• After months of being mortal enemies, you and Titus are now inseparable. It is not unusual for the two of you to go hang out upstairs for an hour while I'm cooking or cleaning
• You LOVED the Christmas lights. Every morning as soon as you got out of bed, you would march over to the tree and ask me to turn them on. You also loved driving around and looking at lights on houses
• You love going to school and walk into your classroom like a big girl
• At church you like to go sit with me and listen to the worship before going to the nursery
• You cry big tears really fast
• If you get scolded you will immediately burst into tears and you won't calm down until you're being held
• You love doing arts and crafts at school
• You are still in your crib and you love playing in it by yourself after naptime and in the morning
• You say you would like to potty like a big girl but when I actually try to get you on the potty you refuse.
• Your favorite show is My Little Pony but you also love Blaze and the Monster Machines, which is about monster trucks. You basically love whatever Titus loves.
• You still use a paci but only for naps and night time. Pacis stay in your crib.
• You get so excited to see Zi-Zi (Zion) and Connieee (Conner) when we go to school
• You don't have nearly as much interest in letters as Titus did at your age
• Your hair is still tinted red, but it looks much more blonde now. If your eyebrows weren't still reddish I might think you were turning into a permanent blonde!
• Because you are tall and Titus is short, we get asked about 4 times a week if you are twins
• You enjoy being the class clown. You love being silly and making people laugh. Right now, that's by replacing words in your favorites songs with the word poop ("twinkle twinkle little POOP"). We can thank your brother for teaching you that trick. 
• Sometimes I feel like you're talking to me like a grown up. You say phrases in the right context I didn't even realize you knew. It makes me giggle every time. 
• When Titus apologizes for hitting you he has to say, "I'm sorry for hitting you, do you forgive me?" But you never know how to respond, so he says, "say yes" and you do. Now when you want something, you try to pull that trick on me. "I have a popsicle, mommy? Say yes."
• You like to pat my tummy and say hi to the baby. You also pulled up daddy's shirt and patted his belly and said, "you have baby, too?"

Baby Love we are just thrilled with you! I can already tell you are going to be the goofy one in the family. You love making people laugh and you love laughing. Generally speaking, you are very laid back and enjoy doing whatever is the most fun. You are incredibly social (you make friends at the park all the time) and you love playing with anything you can cuddle or nurture (stuffed animals, dolls, plastic animals...). I have loved getting to watch your personality develop because I feel like you will be a lot like me (Grandma thinks so too). We love you so much, sweet girl!

Titus: 2016 Wrap Up

Dear Titus,
at almost 5 years old...

• You have hit a growth spurt and you have outgrown all your 3T jammies (finally!) You weight 38 pounds and are very proud of that fact.
• This growth spurt also means you have been eating A LOT. A typical day for you involves two waffles for breakfast, a full lunch, an early afternoon snack, an early dinner (tonight was two hot dogs and two PB&J sandwiches) and then usually another second dinner before you head off to bed.
• Your favorite shows are Transformers, Blaze and the Monster Machines and Sid the Science Kid
• You love all things legos right now (lego toys, lego movies, lego games)
• You and Haddie have been SO MUCH BETTER. We went through a month or two where you did nothing but fight and nitpick and scream at each other, it drove me absolutely crazy. But now, for the most part, you play so well together and are inseparable.
• Every night at bedtime you tell me, "but I'm just not sleepy! I can't sleep!" and then you fall asleep 3-5 minutes later
• You are all about the poop jokes right now. And by jokes, I mean saying things like "Is your hair made of POOP??" and then laughing at yourself. I told you that poop jokes are for boys and you can only make them with Daddy and your guy friends.
• You are finally starting to understand when we are teasing you instead of always taking everything so literal (although you are still 100% literal with everyone else besides Daddy and me).
• You are currently obsessed with "wrapping presents" which consists of taking hot wheels or marbles and wrapping them in toilet paper and taping them shut.
• Your emotional control has gotten much better although you still have multiple outbursts a day where you are redlining over small things (usually things that have a simple solution but you get upset before you think to ask for help)
• You say that Brooks is your best friend and Brooks said, "I'm basically a part of your family, we're like brothers" which is pretty darn cute
• You are asking for bunk beds so that friends can stay over. We'll have to wait and see if I'm ready for that...
• You still love school although you don't like any of the craft projects (you get very frustrated because you are such a concrete thinker. Drawing things frustrate you, I think part of this is because you are a perfectionist. So when you have to draw a person you get really upset because you think it doesn't look right)
• We say the phrase "if you don't have something kind to say, don't say anything at all" quite a bit. Your four year old attitude has kicked in ;)
• You love having Haddie follow you around. You make up all kinds of games and activities and she does almost anything you want
• Anytime you trip you yell, "I don't LIKE our new house!" even though you just fell because you lost your balance
• You are really into legos 
• Anytime a kid is doing something you don't like you yell, "NO MA'AM!" even if it's a boy
• You love watching daddy play football on the Xbox even though you don't really ever want to actually PLAY football.
• You still make a "d" sound instead of "th" (weather = wedder, another = anudder)
• You are obsessed with the weather and ask Siri for an update about a dozen times a day. 
• Every morning you wake up at 7 and are allowed to play with the iPad. Around 7:30, Haddie will start calling our, "Titus! Titus!" And you go down and crawl in her crib and play with her until I come in. 
• You ask permission all the time, even about things like taking your shoes off or jumping in a puddle. I love this about you! It's so respectful and sweet. However this does not apply when you are angry or frustrated and you could care less what I think ;)
• You say, "you know what I was thinking?" All the time, and then you pitch me an idea like getting donuts or playing gator golf. 
• We call you Captain Safety because you are ALL about everyone being safe and you keep us all in line

We love how different you and Haddie are, which also makes it really fun that you love to play together. She is girly and artistic and hates to be alone. You love building and drawing mazes and you need to have alone time during the day. But you still have the sweetest laugh and you are finding your own sense of humor and making a lot of silly jokes. I am really soaking up these days with both of you home because in eight more months you will start Kindergarten! I am so thankful for this time with you before you get so big. You were the first I ever rocked to sleep and you are still the last one I check on before going to bed every night (old habits die hard).

Haddie: Summer 2016

• You have hit a growth spurt and are catching up in height to Titus. People mistake you for twins pretty often
• Your favorite foods are... no food. You don't want to eat much of anything. Most of your meals consist of the same rotation of a few things: pickles, turkey, yogurt, goldfish, strawberries. You sometimes scarf down pizza, spaghetti, or french fries, and then other times you don't care for them at all. You will eat a little ice cream or other desserts, but not a lot.
• You really like to dance and you especially like it if we're dancing with you because you imitate our moves (it's hilarious)
• Most of this summer you spent in just a diaper or even naked. By noon you are usually wet, muddy or a combination of both
• You don't seem to miss school at all, but you do ask about "Si Si?" which is what you call Zion, your best friend in your class
• One of our friends said you have the highest, sweetest voice of any toddler she's met. It's so true, everything about your voice is ultra feminine!
• You have started going to bed later, like 8/8:30 and wake up around 7/7:30. You still take a great afternoon nap, usually 2 hours and sometimes as long as 3.5 hours.
• You are obsessed with other babies, although sometimes your affection is still too rough
• Your favorite toy right now is an old hand-me-down Finding Nemo or the stuffed cat you got from Grandmother
• You have started throwing a lot more fits. There are a lot of tears accompanied by melodramatic sobbing. These can go on for a looooonnnnng time and I am starting to get a picture of how 13 may look for you ;)
• You love playing in the stream at Gulley Park, your favorite part is throwing rocks in the water
• I have been trying to not give you the paci in the car (only in the crib) and you will wail from the backseat, "PAAAAA-CCCEEEEEEYYY" LIKE YOU ARE DYING. This is also hilarious to me
• Your play really well independently, but you also like to play with Titus a lot (when he's being nice to you)
• You love making animal noises and when we ask you what sound a Haddie makes you say, "Ah Hah-eeeee!" and pat your chest
• Your favorite shows are Little Einsteins, Rescue Bots (thank to Brother you're obsessed too) and Horton Hears a Who
• I hear you say frequently to your dolls/animals/pacis, "no ma'am!" which is clearly something you have been hearing a lot lately
• You have recently discovered Princess outfits/jewelry/shoes and walk around with a wand saying, "Princess time!"
• You say, "no ma'am!" all the time to Titus (you don't know "no sir!" is a thing). This is mostly because a) you hear that from me, and b) Titus says it to you A LOT
• When you wake up in the morning Titus usually brings you books and toys in your crib. This is one of your favorite things!
• You have recently started to not like bedtime very much (kicking and screaming when you are getting your jammies put on). Once we put you in the crib and leave the room you start to cry, but you always calm down almost immediately when we sing to you through the baby monitor.
• Titus recently developed a fear of thunder and after one particularly scary freak out, you became scared too. Now when I ask you if you want to go outside, you frequently say, "no tanks. It waining." (even though it never is)

You have started talking so much and I'm loving hearing you put 2-3 word sentences together. When you are throwing a fit I will ask you to use your words and you usually say, "that." Which isn't super helpful but eventually you usually explain what I need to know. When we went to the beach this summer you were a little nervous about the water, but it didn't take much to convince you it would be a good time. You liked to go out past the waves with me and just lay back with your floaties, cross your ankles, and close your eyes while you floated in the sun. This pretty much sums you up: laid back, fun loving, adventurous, a big time momma's girl, and a casual lounger. We love you, sweet girl!

Titus: Summer 2016 update

Dear Titus,

 At 4 years old...

• You must be going through a growth spurt because you are eating all the time. You are wearing 3T things and have outgrown everything 2T (which is a big deal for you!)
• You rarely take naps anymore (maybe once or twice a week) so we try to get you to sleep by 8/8:30. If you take a nap, it may be more like 9/9:30 before you fall asleep. 
• When you don't nap, I lay you down for 30-45 minutes of "rest" and you usually make up Rescue Bot stories with your stuffed animals the whole time
• You try the same excuses to get out of bed every night. 
1. I need to go potty
2. I'm still hungry (no matter how much you've eaten)
3. Wait wait wait, I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING! (it's never important)
• You like to sing, "Hangin tough!" because Daddy sang it to you once and you thought it was funny. You also sing the Nationwide Car Insurance jingle with Nanay ("Nationwide is on your siiiiide!")
• Your L's still sound like W's
• You refer to all kids and babies younger than you as "her" or "she" even if it's a boy
• Out of nowhere you developed this really thick southern accent. A lot of one syllable words have become two syllables for you 
• When you are getting in trouble you will start fake giggling and cover your mouth, I can't tell if you are doing it to be defiant or if you are trying to make me laugh so you don't get in trouble. Either way, it can be pretty infuriating.
• You talk about, pretend, watch, tell stories about Rescue Bots ALL THE TIME. As much as I get tired of watching the same show, I am glad you've found something you like to pretend when you play by yourself.
• When you pretend to be a Rescue Bot you call yourself "Hokeekeewah" and then transform into objects (car, boat, vacuum, drill...)
• You are really missing school and keep asking when we get to go back
• I overhear you trying to explain things to Haddie a lot and it's really funny ("No Haddie, we don't put the blocks on the kitchen set! The blocks go in the toy box, silly.")
• You love watching YouTube videos about tornados
• When you have to go to timeout or I get you in trouble you like to growl because you know you're not allowed to talk back. You are learning the hard way that is also considered disrespectful.
• Your favorite activity with Daddy is building our large USA map
• Your infatuation with getting under Haddie's skin has only gotten worse. You spend a lot of time playing in your room alone because you can't keep your hands to yourself. Or worse, you like to steal her toys and run away, teasing her because she can't catch you
• You LOVE swimming. Like, obsessively love it. Last year it still kind of scared you, but this year you've been so happy to wear the floaties and even jump off the diving board all alone
• You have learned to buckle yourself into your carseat and are so incredibly proud
• Your favorite foods are raspberries, PB&J, pickles, pepperoni, ice cream and applesauce
• Most of your stories include "My best friends, Brooks, Garrison, Maddox and Rozy"
• We are really working on "obeying the first time." I will tell you, "go back to bed please" and I'll have to repeat myself. Then when I get off the couch and you know  you're in trouble, you say, "I'm doing it now!!!" and hope that will keep you out of trouble. 
• I hear you tell Haddie a lot, "no ma'am!" because you love making her reinforce the rules
• You frequently pretend to be a Transformer named "Hokekewah" who transforms into a vacuum cleaner, car, drill, and many other things.
• You LOVED the beach so much! Your favorite activity was to put on your floaties and go with Daddy to where the waves were breaking and take them in the chest. Sometimes they would splash you in the face or even knock you over, but you loved every second of it!
• Your love to draw robots on your magnet board, along with lots of spelling and some "Spanish words" (which are mostly just scribbly lines
• You have developed a fear of thunder so now anytime you think it's going to storm you panic and run inside

I can't believe at this time next year we will be preparing to send you off to kindergarten! I'm still in denial. I don't know what Haddie and I will do without you around! The other night you spent the night at Mimmy and Nanay's house and Haddie kept walking around and checking all of our rooms, saying, "Bubba? Ty-tis?" Even though you don't always get along, she can't imagine a day without you and neither can I. I love seeing you use your imagination to set up pretend situations with your Rescue Bots, the way you draw marble machines and mazes on your drawing board, and hearing you suggest a plan for the day, followed by, "Does that sound like a good idea?" We love you so much, I am so thankful for this final year at home with you!

Haddie: 2 year update

Dear Haddie,

At 2 years old...

• You weigh 26 pounds, are 33 inches tall and wear 2T clothes (sometime still 18-24m because you're very petite)
• Your favorite foods are cheese, crackers, pizza, pepperoni, baby food pouches, bananas, waffles, cheerios, yogurt, fruit gummies, and carbs.
• If you see me with a Coke you whiiiiiiiine and whine and whine until I share with you
• You don't run, you prance. Sometimes I call you Fancy Prancy.
• You are finally doing better about dropoffs, you only cry occasionally at church or school
• You sleep like a teenager. You have been sleeping from 7:30-8ish and take a 2+ hour nap ever day. 
• you get VERY jealous when I'm holding anyone else, including your brother. If you're on my lap and he tries to join us you push him off 
• You are finally leaving your ponytail/pigtails in, yay! For a few hours at least, and then you pull them out
• You don't like for me to mess with your accessories. Coats and shoes must be left on at all times (including at school)
• You walked around the house drinking out of your sippy cup and spitting it on the floor. It is so gross but you think its hilarious. You also like to dump your yogurt shake on the table which earned you your first (and only) real spanking 
• You are pretty athletic. Not only are you not scared of many things at the playground, but you seem to run/climb/slide pretty easily!
• You love babies and point them out wherever we go, but you pronounce it like the French word, Bebe, which is so adorable
• You love finding my lip gloss or Chapstick so you can pucker up while and have me put it on you
• You only get your pacifier for sleep or the car and as long as you don't realize I took it away, it doesn't usually seem to bother you
• Your favorite toy is the water table outside
• If you find dog poop in the yard you will squish it in your hands (GROSS)
• You carry a purse around with all your treasure in it (usually a pacifier, lego baby, and a cell phone)
• Brother picks on you sometimes, but you've learned how to milk it. Even if he barely or accidentally runs into you, you start whining like he hurt you really bad
• You are in a real "mommy's girl" stage. You only want me to hold you and you cry if I even put you in the carseat and don't climb into the driver's seat immediately

Sometimes I just look at your Daddy and say, "look how adorable Haddie is! I just can't get over it!" But it's true, your sweet little dimple and big blue eyes frequently catch me off guard when I see you smiling at me in the rearview mirror. Grandma Susie says you like to "keep us busy" which is a sweet way of saying you are into everything! Which is true :) But that is one of my favorite things about you, how adventurous you are. It's pretty rare to find you a) bored or b) afraid to try something out. You will follow Titus around and do everything he does and more! And if you fall down, you usually just get back up and keep going. Plus you are very easygoing and rarely get demanding (unless you want your pacifier, then you are ruthless), so for the most part, not much seems to bother you. We love you to the moon and back, baby love!

Titus: 4 year update

Dear Titus,

At 4 years old...

• You weigh 33 pounds, measure 37 inches tall and wear 3T clothes (pants are still too long and your waist it tiny!)
• You go to bed around 8:15/8:30 but don't usually fall asleep until 9:00. You wake up around 6:30 most days, but know to stay in your room until your OK to Wake alarm light comes on at 7:00.
• When daddy is singing the same song over and over again you say, "Daddy, sewiouswy!" (which is also something mommy says)
• You start most sentence with "how abouuuuttt..." Or "Hey, I have an idea!"

• You say, "oh, c'mon!" to a lot of things, mostly inanimate objects ("oh, cmon blocks! Stand up already!")
• "being funny" is a big thing for you. After you knock over a tower or jump off a stair you will say, "was that funny?"
• When school was out for Spring Break you were pretty devastated. Lately you have become really interested in compost/gardening and recycling because you learned about them at school
• You really struggle with bedtime and naptime and not wanting to go to sleep, but we have started using a timer to let you know when it is time to go to bed and that has helped a lot
• You love watching videos in Spanish
• You are SO competitive. Everything is about winning right now 
• When you and Daddy build with the Jenga blocks you always request him to make the "Entire State Building"
• You say that everything hurts. Putting on your shirt, getting your hair washed, taking shoes off...
• You really like to mess with Haddie which drives me crazy. You just get in her space and make noises or poke her or whatever buttons you know she would hate having pushed
• You are SO literal. You had a book parade at school where everyone dresses up like a book character and you said that couldn't happen because it's not Halloween (then told me you wanted to be a TV for Halloween). You were also really thrown off by your birthday party being on April 2nd but your actual birthday not being until the 10th
• You run through the house yelling, "look! I'm running adagio!" (The word for "fast tempo" you learned from Little Einsteins)
• Your favorite excuse for getting out of bed is "I need to tell you something." This often happens at 5:30/6am and you are either 1) still half asleep and talking about your dream ("Haddie ate my sausage roll. I left it on the table and then she ate it all gone!!!") or just something you make up so you don't have to go back to sleep ("I had to blow my nose, here's my Kleenex")
• You're really into "forever" right now. "Will I be in timeout forever? Is Brooks going home forever? Will daddy be at work forever?"
• You are a savorer. It takes you 4 bites to finish a single m&m. 
• You are the justice police, constantly going around getting other kids in trouble for breaking rules or making other kids cry
• You nap 3-4 days a week, but on the days you don't nap, you do a good job of making up pretend games in your bed with your pillows and stuff animals
• You still get overstimulated and need quiet time to calm down. When something isn't working right or you don't get your way you still get very emotional and it's hard to get you to take a breath and listen. But once you calm down it's much easier to communicate.
• You respond really strong to other's people's emotions. You don't really care if I threaten to get you in trouble for disobeying, but if I tell you your bad choices are hurting my feelings or look like I'm going to cry you immediately change your behavior and come give me a hug and apologize.
• "How does _____ work?" is a big thing for you right now. How does breathing work? How do germs work? How does water work in your body? How do toots work? How do cars work? How does running work? How does the sun work?

One of the biggest changes in you over the last few months is how rough you are! You are always wanting to wrestle or tackle or jump around. You say that your favorite thing to do with Daddy is to wrestle and your favorite thing to do with Mommy is to cuddle. That's the way I like it! Save the rough housing for when Daddy gets home. Sometimes you try to do it with Haddie, too (it's not a surprise for me to hear her crying and come in the room to find out you tried to take her out at the knees). Sometimes you just growl or roar for no reason, just because you have too much energy and aggression built up. That's when I bundle you up and send you outside! On the other hand, you are still a major softie, too. You are so sweet to tell us how much you love us and ask to cuddle throughout the day. You also give hugs to almost anyone who walks in the door! Your stories are endless and you are funny without meaning to be. Your stubborness can be tiring sometimes, but we are praying that it will make you a great leader some day. We are so proud to be your mommy and daddy. I love you to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond, forever and ever!

Haddie: 2015 Wrap Up

Dear Haddie,

At almost 2 years old...

• You weigh 23 pounds and have finally moved up to 18-24 month clothes, although some of them are still a little big and pants are long on you
• You sleep from about 7:30pm-7:00am and take one nap at 1pm (usually 2 hours). You have started fighting your naps on occasion, but overall you are still an easy sleeper
• Your favorite foods are pickles, cheese, yogurt, broccoli, french fries, any type of cracker/carb, pizza and bananas
• You are climbing EVERYWHERE.
• You currently do not like taking a bath, mostly because you hate having your hair washed
• You have started repeating a lot more words and it's so adorable. I love hearing your sweet little voice!
• You think it is so funny to give me kisses for some reason. Every time you do, you burst out in giggles
• You are incredibly nurturing. Your favorite Christmas gift was the baby stroller we got for you, you push your baby around all day and feed her a bottle and kiss her. You also like to sit in the stroller yourself to watch tv!
• You still like to do anything that Titus is doing
• You really love playing on the piano
• You still get upset with I drop you off at school or the church nursery, but it only lasts for a couple of minutes
• You can be BOSSY! When you want something, you want it right. then.
• We still change your clothes at least twice a day because you are so messy
• You love dancing! Even if someone just says "let's dance!" you'll still dance without music. But anytime you hear music you start moving back and forth subconsciously 
• You want to be outside all the time, but don't understand the concept of being cold. You get so mad if I don't let you go out when it's raining and yucky!
• Your favorite show is Masha and the Bear. You do so much better sitting still for a movie or show than Titus did at this age
• At any given time you are usually carrying around 2-3 pacifiers
• You are still a little shy around strangers but when we see friends (especially Ms. Stephanie and Ms. Heather) you go up and give great big, cuddly hugs.
• Your favorite activity is definitely running around and being one of the big kids. If Titus and the big boys are chasing each other through the house you are running right alongside them, even though you don't know what they're doing!
• Your dimples are getting more obvious and they are so adorable!
• Everytime you touch something or climb on something you are not supposed to we tell you no, and then when you stop you start clapping and say, "yay!!" as if cheering for yourself will make us forget you were disobeying
• You will keep a bow clip in but you HATE having your hair in a ponytail or pigtails. Which is a real shame because it is so adorable!


This was the first year that you could really participate in the holidays and it was so much fun to see the joy that you and Titus had spending time with family and opening gifts. You didn't really care about the gifts at all, Titus actually opened most of yours, but you sure loved the Christmas tree and trying to take off the ornaments without getting caught! Every time you smile you light up the room, there's not a single person you've met that doesn't adore your sweet personality and shy little smile. Your big blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair are such a stunning combination and people comment on it allllllll the time. I guess you'll just have to get used to that, Baby Love! We feel so blessed to have you in our lives, thank you for multiplying the joy of our family.

Titus 2015 Wrap Up

Dear Titus,
At almost 4 years old...

• You are still pretty small for your age, which I think has helped me stay in denial about how old you're getting :) You wear 2T in pants and 3T in shirts, although those can be too big for you sometimes.
• You're really interested in directions right now. Are we turning right or left? Which direction are we driving?
• Your favorite toy is the marble tower we got you. You make all kinds of "machines" with the pieces and like to watch YouTube videos of marble runs that other people have created
• You also really like drawing "machines" on your drawing board and they are usually replicas of marble machines you have seen on youtube.
• Another favorite activity is anything that is arts and crafts. You got a paint spinner for Christmas and you ask to use it at least once a day every day (it's basically a piece of paper that you put paint on and spin it, then it turns into a tie dye pattern of sorts). You call it your "paint machine" because everything is a machine right now!
• Your favorite drink is chocolate milk and your favorite foods are pickles, tomatoes, pizza, french fries, almost all berries, cereal, waffle with peanut butter and popsicles (of course!) You have recently started being a much better eater, requesting things like salad, peas, broccoli, or other "vegabulls" (which generally means stir fry veggies). I have been very impressed with your willingness to try healthy food!
• You LOVE school (Mother's Day Out). You have been so upset over Christmas break that we haven't gone to school at all.
• You love to play a game called "You Better Run" with Daddy, where Daddy says, "you better run!" and then you take off down the hall and he tries to hit you with a ball and you fall down. Then you switch and try to hit daddy AND YOU BOTH LOVE IT.
• You have moved from fit throwing to whining, and I definitely think I might have liked the fit throwing better. I have learned that every new age has it's own stage, but this is one that I'm ready to leave behind!
• You really like to reinforce the rules with Haddie, it's like having a 3rd parent around (except you are even more strict than we are! ha)
• You still don't really like it when anyone sings or dances around you (especially if it's loud)
• You went through a phase where you were afraid of monsters and would wake up having nightmares, thankfully that has passed for the most part (sometimes there are still scary shadows)
• Your favorite movies/shows are Team Umizoomi, Little Einsteins, Curious George, Madagascar: Penguins Movie, and Horton Hears a Who
• You get VERY stir crazy if we don't get out of the house every day. I can already tell we are going to have to get creative this winter!
• Bedtime routine has gotten much easier but you are really fighting naptime now. You probably skip your nap at least twice a week so instead I let you have "quiet time" in your room where you either build machines with your marble run or play your letter apps on the iPad.
• You tell me that your best friends are Garrison, Brooks and Rozy
• Our current discipline struggle is learning to obey the first time. Especially when you are told to go to timeout, you try to run to the other parent and have them "save" you from timeout (all while screaming). Big no no.
• You are in an extra cuddly phase. You are always climbing into my lap or asking for longer snuggles at bedtime. Today I was doing my makeup and I heard you call out from the living room, "Mommy, will you come cuddle with me?" You literally want to hug and cuddle and snuggle on the couch ALL THE TIME. I love it forever.
• You still have trouble not losing control of your emotions when you are frustrated, but usually a hug, a deep breath and some "quiet time" on my lap or in your room helps you calm down. You have gotten better at expressing yourself with words instead of just exploding when you're upset
• Your favorite book right now is Dragons Love Tacos
• You say "chechup" instead of ketchup and it's adorable. I also love hearing you stretch your vocabulary and say things like "humongous" for the first time
• You have FINALLY realized it's nice to say "I love you too" in response to someone saying I love you. It's so cute and lovely and I try to squeeze it out of you at least 5 times a day

Before I go to bed at night I always come in and check on you (mostly because you rarely ever have the cover on and 50% of the time are sideways or upside down in your bed). But after I tuck you in I always push your hair out of your face and kiss your sweet cheeks. This is the only time where I catch a glimpse of the baby you used to be; the chubby little cheeks, the dimples in your hand, the way you curl up with your stuffed broccoli. Sometimes I slip my hand in yours and even in your dreams you squeeze my hand right back and pull me close to you. We love you to the moon and back, little man.