Dear Photograph

Okay seriously, Dear Photograph is my new favorite website. It combines 3 of my favorite things: photography, creativity, and remembering precious memories from the past. The basic premise is that you take an old photo, go to the location where the photo was originally taken, and retake a new picture featuring the old photo layed over the current landscape. Then the key is to add a caption that explains how you feel looking back at that photo. I literally sit and get teary eyed every time I visit! I can't wait to go home and find some of my old pictures to do this to! Here are some of my favorites from the website (I suggest clicking on the picture so you can get a bigger view and really see whats going on):

"Dear photograph, 

We outgrew the clothes, but we never outgrew the visits with you, Daddy."

"Dear photograph, 

Now that's how you grow a beard."

"Dear photograph, 

I'll never let go.-Dad"

"Dear photograph,

 Disney will always be magical, no matter what age."

"Dear photograph, 

Thank you for everything that we had."

"Dear photograph, 

Any idea where those dinosaur shorts are at?"

"Dear photograph,

Dad never took a picture of me, ever. Then I noticed his reflection in the glass.

Happy Father's Day, Dad."

"Dear photograph,

I looked good in a tux."

Okay! I'm done, I swear. I just love them all so much! Go visit: dearphotograph.com

Theory: "Lingering Self-Esteem"

Does anybody else ever feel like their body looks like it did in high school/college but when you look at it you think, "Who's body is this and where did it come from? It most definitely does not belong to me!"
I in no way want to give the wrong impression that I want or expect to look like I did in high school. Back then I was working out year round for sports about 2+ hours a day, which totally blows my mind now (apparently I had nothing else going on; how does someone have that much time to work out?!).


Anyway, back to my original thought, I have been working on this theory I call "Lingering Self-Esteem." 
Definition: an individual (such as myself) has a falsely positive image of their own body causing them to think they look better than they actually do. 
Example: I put on a swimsuit and feel normal then look at the mirror and am sure that someone is pulling a prank on me and has switched my regular mirror for a fun house mirror.
Example: In high school, a girl friend complained to me about her thighs rubbing together when she walked and I remember thinking, "Hmmm... my thighs don't do that, must just be her." Now I am Thigh Rubber.
Example: When I go home I still find myself looking at my younger sister's wardrobe to see what I could borrow like I did 7 years ago. Now the only thing I can borrow from her is a pair of socks (granted, she is all of about 5 ft and 100 lbs, if that).
Example: I always pick up items on the rack that are about a size too small because they look like they would fit me, then later decide that the sizes in that store just run small (that's a legitimate excuse, right?).
Example: I don't usually notice my upper arms, but the question is when did they start moving at their own pace when I do things like wash the windows or wave?
Example: My stomach feels flat, but when I look sideways in the mirror after a big meal I can't help but think, yikes! am I secretly like 3 months pregnant? Where did that food baby come from?! I thought my stomach was tight enough to hold that in... (This brings us to my next theory, called "Learn to Suck it In").


Now before you go giving me the lecture about how I should love my body and everyone is made different (yada yada yada) you need to understand that I totally get that! I am (most days) satisfied with the body I have as long as I am consistently eating healthy (but not cutting out tasty) and working out. I know that I have curves that come from my sweet Grandmas and they will always and forever be there. And I know that my husband finds me beautiful in every way and never notices any of the negative things I do (Praise the Maker for unobservant men!). And I definitely, definitely don't want to give teenage girls the impression that putting on a little weight when you grow up is a bad thing. It's natural and I wouldn't go back to my A cup for nothin, not even losing the extra pounds!


But sometimes a little self-deprecating humor can take a poor attitude about my body and turn it into a giggle. And for me, writing this blog is totally worth laughing at myself to stay out of the body-hate mentality that our society pushes on everyone. I can notice that my body is different than it used to be (and that there's more of it) without having to spiral into a depression and stop eating.


So here's to all you women out there who can't fit in your high school cheerleading uniform/prom dress/favorite jeans and are happy (or at least content) with being a little curvier! 
Hurrah for being at home in your adult skin.
And for all you skinny minny's that don't know what I'm talking about, go grab a donut and find another blog to read (kidding!).


Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well."

Rushing Rushing Rushing

Garland left for Belize and I was home for a week by myself then I left for Colorado and while I was gone he got home, so long story short, we didn't even talk to each other for almost 2 weeks. After about the 6th or 7th day I started to feel single again. It was so weird because I did whatever I wanted and I didn't have to compromise about anything and since we literally couldn't talk at all while he was in Belize it was like he didn't exist. Needless to say, it took a little adjusting to get used to living with someone again. I missed him so so so much the whole time he was gone, but then when he got back, I caught myself thinking, wait, someone else lives in my house? Such a strange sensation for your husband to feel like a visitor.


The good news is, he's home for good (at least until Memphis in August and Fall Retreat in September, Dallas class in December, Belize in January, Chill Out in February, Memphis in March, Dallas class again in May... and so our schedule goes)! I got back on Saturday afternoon and even though we hadn't seen each other in two weeks we immediately had a family birthday party (for sweet precious itty bitty baby boy "Gawwett"), followed by church on Sunday and party #2 for the Golden Child, then 4th of July in Missouri with my family. WHEW! I am exhausted just thinking about everything that's already happened this holiday weekend.


But regardless, we had an incredible time in Belize/Colorado and seeing my family for the 4th. So here's a little preview of my favorite shots from the past week!

Me, Bestie, Adriane

 Hiking

 My silly lovies

 Drew and his two moms

FOURTH OF JULY!

Best friends :)

 Football training

 New baby (not mine!)

 Some DELICIOUS food!

 Lots of water games

 Grandpa holding his 7th great grandchild for the first time

 And of course, my favorite part, the fireworks!!

When the Right Plan is Wrong

During my quiet time this morning I was reading Luke 5:
^18 (S)And some menwere carrying on a ^[i]bed a man who was paralyzed; and they were trying to bring him in and to set him down in front of Him. ¹⁹ But not finding any way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up on ^(T)the roof and let him down ^(U)through the tiles with his stretcher, into the middle of the crowd, in front of Jesus. ²⁰ Seeing their faith, He said, “^[j]Friend,^(V)your sins are forgiven you.” ²¹ The scribes and the Pharisees ^(W)began to reason, saying, “^(X)Who is this man who speaks blasphemies? ^(Y)Who can forgive sins, but God alone?” ²²But Jesus, ^[k]aware of their reasonings, answered and said to them, “Why are you reasoning in your hearts? ²³ Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins have been forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? ²⁴ But, so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins,”—He said to the ^(Z)paralytic—“I say to you, get up, and pick up your stretcher and go home.” ²⁵ Immediately he got up before them, and picked up what he had been lying on, and went home ^(AA)glorifying God. ^26 [l]They were all struck with astonishment and began^(AB)glorifying God; and they were filled ^(AC)with fear, saying, “We have seen remarkable things today.”


Man, this was such a good reminder that I don't trust God enough. I'm so used to trying to be self-sufficient and thinking I'm responsible for getting things to go "just right." Then when things don't go just right, I am frustrated with God, continually asking, why are you not doing this? Why is it taking so long for you to answer me? But the thing is, it's not that he's not answering me, it's that my "right" is really the wrong plan, so it was never right to begin with. The moment I really begin to shrug off my failed attempts and accept that God has a bigger plan in store is the moment when His peace reigns in my heart.


Thank you Lord for your patience with me, I confess my lack of trust in you and pray that you would encourage my heart to seek you. I am so in awe of the fact that everything you are doing in my life is to create the most successful route to bringing others to Christ and I feel totally unworthy of even being a part of the plan!

Is Anyone Waiting 'til Marriage?

Statistically, not really.


Although, 61% Of American teens say that they want to wait to have sex until marriage, only 11% of Americans will have one partner in their lifetime and only 4% will wait until marriage to have sex with that partner. More Americans have sex BEFORE age 15 (16%) than wait until AFTER age 21 (15%).


So what changes their minds? Well this could be part of it:
--One third (33%) of sexually actives teens 15-17 reported "being in a relationship where they felt things were moving too fast sexually" and 24% had "done something sexual they didn't really want to do." 
--More than 1 in 5 (21%) reported giving in to pressure to have oral sex in order to avoid having intercourse with their partner. 
--1/4 of high school students had drank alcohol or used drugs before their last sexual intercourse (51% admitted they tended to "do more sexually" when they were under the influence).
--60% of teen girls had their first sexual experience with a guy at least 1-3 years older.
--Overall, 1/3 of teens 15-17 reported feeling pressured into having sex, not to mention the 10% who report having been physically forced to have sexual intercourse when they did not want to at some point.


All of these numbers lead me to one thing, our sweet junior high and high school kids are under a lot of pressure to have sex. It is our role as parents/church staff/disciplers to be aware of these numbers and tell them it's okay to feel that pressure, that doesn't make you a bad person! But it also doesn't mean that you have to give in. Ask anyone who waited, it will be worth it in the end.

Do You Ever Have One of Those Days...

Do you ever have one of those days where...
-You just feel so heavy in your heart that your shoulders actually slump?
-Everyone else's happy/exciting/giddy posts on Facebook/Blogger seem to be the exact opposite of how your life is going right this minute?
-You picture yourself as Eeyore with the cloud following you around wherever you go and raining on your head and the soundtrack to your day sounds like, "dump da dummmmm" ?
-You accidentally intentionally only read blogs that identify with your special brand of sorrow and for a brief moment three hour period you allow yourself to wallow?
-You've prayed for something so much you literally don't even feel like there are any more original prayers to be prayed on this topic: you've traded the root word for every adjective you can think of, thought of all the noun/verb order switches you could do to make it sound different, gone from fancy to simple phrasing and back again, and finally just ended in "why?"
-You had a stupid fight with your spouse and you don't even know where it began but you definitely know where it ended, which is with a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach because you know it wasn't worth it in the end?
-You look back on the week and wonder where the time went and know that you didn't really get anything accomplished that you had planned and now your To-Do list is so long you could use it to wrap all your Christmas presents in December?
-You want to trust in the Lord, you really, really do, but scripture feels a little hollow and prayer feels a little one sided?
-Someone you love hurt your feelings and even after they sincerely apologize you realize that the wound hasn't healed at all, much to your (and their) chagrin?
-Whatever it is that you pray/wish/think/dream about every night when you lay your head down seems so far away that you don't even want to want it anymore?


Well, if you haven't ever had one of those days, I have, and I am, and it stinks. The funny thing is after typing up this blog I am actually starting to feel the cloud lift a little and I'm reminded of something Gary said in Community Church on Sunday: "Faith is choosing to believe that the bible is true regardless of circumstance. "


Some days all you can do is repeat the truth over and over again until you've said it so much it begins to finally make sense.


For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

A Bloggie for My Doggie(s)

Today I am writing in honor of the 3rd and 4th members of our family, Bosco and Lucy. Today I read a friend's blog post about having to put down the dog she and her husband got as a newborn and had had for 11 years. The dog had an emergency medical problem and he was fine in the morning but by the afternoon they were having to make the hard decision to spend thousands of dollars on surgery with no guarantee of recovery or put him to sleep. They chose to put him to sleep and as I read her sweet words and memories about their four legged family member, I hate to admit it, but I shed a tear or two. It just really got me thinking about the inevitable, that one day, my sweet puppies will no longer be with me. It's the sad truth behind pet ownership that no one likes to talk about, but it is extremely likely that you will outlive your pets (and not just one pet, but probably multiple cycles of pets in a lifetime).


If you ask our friend Derek, we spend way too much time and energy on our dogs (which is most likely true). When thinking about going on vacation or discuss our hectic schedules for the week, we always have the "who's going to take care of the dogs?" conversation. Yes, we give them way more attention and loving than they need but at the end of the day they are a responsibility and they have to get fed and cared for even without our constant coddling. 
But what Derek and others don't understand is that most of the time it's really not a hassle for me because I love them like family members. They are included in our occasional date nights at home (NBC Thursday Night Lineup, takeout, and a two person/two dog pileup on the couch), we love taking them on day trips to see family or go to the river/park/hiking trails, and they definitely have distinct personalities that keep G and I laughing constantly at their interaction together. I know my dogs likes/dislikes better than most of my friends (Bosco hates broccoli but loves bananas, Lucy will eat literally anything-including rocks, her own fur balls on the floor, and dead bugs), and they can tell by the tone of my voice what I want them to be doing (or stop doing on most occasions). And the best part is, they listen.
I think most importantly (and this is literally about as sappy as it gets, so don't read on unless you're ready to be taken into Lifetime Movie Script), they unconditionally believe the best of me. I can yell at them for eating my shoe, forget to walk them, or banish them to the backyard when they are annoying me, but each morning I will still be greeted with Lucy putting her front paws up on the side of the bed and licking my arm "good morning," and Bosco will still lay at my feet while I brush my teeth just to be close to me. 
They are refreshing friendships in which I never have to worry about them holding a grudge, or telling them they don't look fat, or make up small talk if there's an awkward lull in conversation. They never care if I'm not wearing makeup, or if I don't feel like pretending I'm happy when I'm not, or if I watch completely vapid TV shows like Real Housewives (this is one of their favorite to nap during). 
We have inside jokes (if Lucy is hiding under a bed I start singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and she always comes running) and silly bits (I have gotten Bosco's "Diva" and "Bang Bang Play Dead" trick down pat) and I know they will always be a source of comfort and cuddling and non-judgement in even the worst of moments. I can't tell you the number of times I've come home from a hard day at work or after a silly fight with the Hubby and they just crawl up on the bed beside me and lay their heads on my leg/lap/chest and look up at me. It's that quiet, that easiness of just laying there and soaking in their adoration that lightens the moment and makes it seem like maybe it will be okay after all.

So here's to you, Bosco, who thinks he is a guard dog but instead of attacking only licks your arm and tries to play, and Lucy, who we like to think is half pug half pig and sometimes looks like a bat when she is really tired. You are the best doggies in the whole world and I don't care what anyone says, until we have children you will be spoiled like children!