You Might Be a Terrible Mom If...

You might be a terrible mom if...

• You let your child watch tv. Ever.

• You are not pureeing your own baby food including dishes like salmon bisque and chicken cordon bleu.

• Your child cannot sign in full sentences by the age of one.

• During your child's naps you are not a) deep cleaning your entire house at LEAST every other day, b) accomplishing a major work of art and c) running your own small business that was inspired by Pinterest.

• You stop breast-feeding before 10 years old (they're playing tee-ball now, you need to keep their energy up).

• They've ever tasted or even smelled something with sugar in it.

• You haven't tried making your own baby-safe laundry detergent, diaper rash cream, wipes, or shampoo. Get with the program! You're falling into the trap of American Consumerism and don't even get me STARTED on the harsh chemicals!

• You don't knit, embroider, hand paint, stencil, embellish, or otherwise self design all of your baby's clothing and accessories (don't forget those headbands and leg warmers, ladies!).

• You are not speaking at least 3 languages at home.

• YOU THINK ABOUT USING A CRIB BUMPER. OR NAP NANNY. OR BUMBO. OR ANY OTHER BABY DEATH TRAP BEING DISGUISED AS A SAFE ITEM.

• You have not hired a professional party planner for their first birthday to help you execute the perfect bash with the measly $2,500 you set aside for it.

• Your poor child has to wear a regular outfit for their monthly picture instead of the required number embroidered onesie or (heaven FORBID) you don't take monthly pictures AT ALL.

• You're not pregnant yet? OMG your firstborn is going to be so lonely!!

• You're PREGNANT?! OMG now you will NEVER spend any time with your firstborn.

OR

You might be a terrible mom if you allow the world to tell you how to parent. If you child is happy, healthy, and safe, then you're doing a great job. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise! 

10 Months

Dear Titus,

At 10 months you...

• You weigh about 20 pounds (you lost two pounds while you were sick last month but now  you're back up to your normal weight).
• You are wearing 9-12 month clothes (pants are still long) and size 4 diapers.
• You sleep from 7:30-7:30 (12 hours), and take two naps (10:30 and 2:30).
• Your two bottom teeth are all the way in and you have two top teeth almost through the surface.
• You eat lots of table food and want to try whatever we're eating. Your favorites are mac n' cheese, apple slices, baby dill pickles, mashed potatoes, and peas/carrots. You generally have a combo of one baby food container with table food for each meal.
• Your favorite toy right now is the red wagon Grandma Susie got you for Christmas.
• You have a lot of long hair in the front middle of your head but less on the sides and back. I call it reverse balding.
• When you finish your bottle at bedtime you like to lay on my chest instead of being cradled like a baby.
• You have learned how to wave! It's SOOO adorable!
• You give all your food the "squish test" before eating it. You try to squish it in your hand and if it squishes you play with it instead of eating it.
• You love when I blow your hair out of your face. You giggle every time!
• You rarely ever pitch a full-on fit. Instead, you will be completely fine and then have an outburst of yelling which usually only lasts about 5 seconds. Then a lot of times it's followed by a big smile and laughter. I like to attribute it to the fact that you just must be very passionate :)
• You are very social. When you see another child you start giggling and yelling at them. When we were at Hobby Lobby last week you even yelled back and forth with a kid a couple isles down.
• You love being able to army crawl and you do it all the time! We call it your "giggle crawl" because you always gets excited about whatever you're moving toward. You don't get up on your knees but you do pull up on tables and toys, and you like to walk everywhere while we're holding you.
• You cry when you fall asleep and you cry when you wake up. It only lasts a minute or so, but you definitely want someone to come get you! Your naps are still no bueno but you sleep good through the night!
• You are so vocal! You jabber and make noises all. Day. Long.
• You HATE having water poured on your face during bath time. Talk about a fit!

Buddy you are so much fun! I can't believe how much we enjoy spending time with you each day. You have your daddy's joyful spirit and it makes my heart so full. You have started standing up on your own all the time and playing independently, but you will occasionally reach back and make sure I'm still there. You don't even take your eyes off what you're doing, but just feeling my arm is enough to reassure you that I haven't gone anywhere. I hope you grow up and remember that we want you to be your own man, but please remember that you can always reach out just to know that I'm here if you need me. We will always have your back and be ready to catch you when life gets hard. We love you to the moon and back, little man.

Dirty Thirty Party

My sister-in-law, Christen, wanted to throw my brother a surprise party to celebrate his 30th birthday. We settled on the theme "Dirty Thirty," so think camo, deer heads, tank tops, trucker hats, and lots of Little Debbie snacks. Here is what came of it!

He was genuinely surprised!

Cardboard is a staple of hillbilly decor

The "Pisser," aka, the bathroom

Hang a clothesline through the room

 Some "tabacky" (Big League Chew)

 mustaches, tattoos, and candy cigarettes

 Classy decor! Fake flowers in an empty 2 liter bottle

 Drinks chilled in a wheelbarrow

 Don't forget to have some puppy chow and Little Debbie snacks as "or derves"

Don't forget the costumes! Cigarette behind the air, torn jeans, and of course, plenty of American flags!

 Flannel, nascar tshirt, and John Deere hat (I'm not really in costume because I didn't have time to change after decorating!)

 Leopard tanks, shiny/skin tight skirt with neon tights, and of course cut-off shirts. And don't forget to include a gun for some good photo ops!

 You can't leave the house without your hair done. Oh wait, yes you can.

 Mustaches for all!

I made Titus a onesie that says "I like my women just a little on the trashy side" with kisses on the back!

 Happy 30th birthday, bub!

9 months

Dear Titus,
At 9 months...

• You weigh about 20 pounds
• You are wearing 9-12 month clothes (pants are still long) and size 3 diapers
• You sleep from 7:30-7:30 (12 hours), and only take 2 naps now (10:30 and 2:30)
• You have what I like to call the "Egor Shuffle" going on where you army crawl and only pull one leg behind you. You will get up and rock on your knees but you haven't figured out how to move your knees to crawl yet. Soon buddy, soon!
• Your favorite toy right now is any cords you can get your hands on. Lamps, phone chargers, anything.
• You officially have 2 teeth! It took you about 3-4 weeks for them to break the surface and you were a little more cranky than usual, but not as bad as it could have been!
• You got bronchitis twice this month and it has been pretty terrible! Breathing treatments, steroids, inhalers, antibiotics... You've had a little bit of everything. Hopefully we're seeing the last of your sickness!
• You have started "singing" along with us in the car, it's adorable!
• We had your first Christmas! It's fair to say your favorite present was the tissue paper we wrapped gifts with, haha.
• You got your first bruise! It was little and I think I was the only one who could see it, but it was still so sad.
• You've started chewing/sucking on some real food! You love pickles, toast, and crackers. You still don't chew very well, though, so we have to watch you very closely.
• You wave back at us!
• You finally want to hold your bottle (sometimes).
• You make a lot more sounds than just dada now, including the n sound, y, j, m, and b.
• We've introduced the sippy cup as well as water, neither if which you care very much for.

Happy New Year, buddy! In 2012 you enjoyed your first Razorback tailgating, Halloween, Fall Retreat, Thanksgiving, Christmas, going to the nursery for the first time, falling in love with the swing, lots of milestones, and plenty of new experiences! I am so excited to see what 2013 holds for you as you start crawling for real and then eventually walking (yikes). We are going to go to the beach, and have your first birthday, and hopefully not get sick anymore. We love you so much, little man. We sit around watching you all night and day because you are so funny. Everyday is something new with you and we just try to keep up! Love you to the moon and back.

Rushing, Rushing, Rushing

When you have a baby everything gets a little more complicated. Grocery trips become extravaganzas, simple errands like running to the Post Office can turn into a disaster with the click of a car seat buckle, and don't even get me STARTED on going out to dinner! None of that to say that it's necessarily a bad thing or that I would even change it, but I do find that I feel like I'm rushing every second of the day. During his nap time I rush to clean/craft/read/nap/do laundry, when he's awake we have to rush and get errands done before his limited patience for the car seat runs out, when we go on a play date we have to rush there and back to make sure we make it between naps, when we go out to dinner I rush to get everything packed and get Titus in the car and (hopefully) make it there on time, and then rush back home before bedtime. When we finally get settled in to put him to bed, I often times find myself rushing to put him down for the night because I feel like I have a billion more things to accomplish before crashing and starting all over. And lets be honest, sometimes I'm just ready for a little adult time.

But here's the thing. I've been missing it.

Tonight when I was putting Titus down he pushed the bottle out and I could feel that it was almost empty and I thought to myself, "Alright, this means I've only got a couple minutes left in here then I can finish working on my Etsy order before Garland gets home." I had the choice to put him down awake (like I usually do and like he prefers) or rock him for a minute longer. I started to put the bottle down and get ready to stand up when he reached up and put his hand on my heart. I'm not kidding, my sweet kiddo reached his tiny fist up and put his open palm right on my chest.

When I felt him touch me it was like all the air in the room stood still and I didn't feel like rushing anymore. I didn't feel like rushing because I couldn't help but think of Amy Hill and wonder if she ever rushed through day-to-day stuff with Tucker like I do with Titus. The thing is, this is normal, this is life. We are taught to be efficient, to make the most of every second of the day, and above all, never miss out on a moment of productivity. I'm sure Amy, like most moms to toddlers, had to multi-task to get everything done each day, and probably, like me, had a lot of nights where she was checking bedtime off a long list of to-do's.

But Tucker died last year in his sleep and no one knows why, and all I could think about as I held my baby boy was, "I bet Amy would give anything to go back and not rush through rocking Tucker to sleep."
So I tried to take it all in.

The sound of his breath getting deeper as he drifts into sleep.
His short fingers raised in the dark, trying to find my face so he knows I'm still here.
The way his body curves up against mine and his head rests in the crook of my arm like we are two puzzle pieces that were made to fit together.
His tiny feet rubbing against each other as he always does when he's nodding off to sleep.
The feel of his eyelashes tickling my cheek as I bend down close to kiss his chubby cheek.
The deep sigh that comes from his little chest that signifies his sense of comfort in my arms.
The feel of his soft baby hair brushing against my forehead when I lay my head close to his.

We are promised nothing here on this earth. Titus may live to be 100, he may be taken away tomorrow, or Jesus may come back before either of us die. All we know in this world is that nothing is promised to us beyond this moment. For me, that was holding my little boy for a few minutes longer as he drifted off into sweet dreams. Tonight I encourage you to stop rushing and really revel in whatever is happening in yours.

8 Months

Dear Titus,
At 8 months...

• You weigh about 20 pounds
• You are wearing 6-9 month clothes (pants are still long) and size 3 diapers
• We switched you this week to a convertible car seat because you outgrew your infant car seat already. You don't seem to like it much better!
• You sleep from 7:30-7:30 (12 hours), and only take 2 naps now. 
• Your naps are normally at 10 (1.5 hours) and 2:30 (1.5 hours) but you STILL wake up in the middle of your naps no matter what I do! Eventually you go back to sleep but I'm hoping you grow out of this soon. 
• Your sound for this month is growling like a moster. 
• You have two teeth coming in on your bottom gums and they are making you CRANKY! I can feel the bumps and the skin on top is white, but no tooth yet! I think we will see them this week.
• Teething rings have become our best friend! You like anything you can put in your mouth that is cold, including water bottles or glasses.
• You have started eating some table food (it's really more like sucking on table food). You like pickles, mashed potatoes, crackers, and lemons. Daddy gave you some chocolate syrup and you LOVED that. But you're still not good at chewing and seem to have no desire to pick up food and put it in your mouth.
• As far as your food schedule you drink about 8-10oz between 7-10 (and sometimes baby food), 8-10oz + baby food lunch between 11:30-2:30, 8-12oz +baby food dinner between 4:00-7:00.
• When we go out to eat you sit up in a high chair like a big boy (except we have to put a blanket behind you because you don't fill up the whole seat).
• You have started trying to pull your legs up underneath you but you usually only get one and look a little like Egor. No crawling yet but I bet you will be before the next update!
• You stand up and hold onto things (table, fireplace bricks) by yourself now. You love it!
• You have cried ONE tear. Haha, I guess that's better than none!
• Your favorite toy right now is the rubber spoon you eat with. You get so mad when I take it out of your hand! Or for that matter, when I take anything out of your hand. Do not remove object from baby!
• You love anything shaped like a stick that you can use to hit things. You are such a boy!
• You laugh every time I say, "Hey, droolie," or when we go outside and I say, "brrrr!"
• You reach for EVERYTHING. Finally, after 8 long months, nothing is safe at our house. We have to keep all breakable, hot, or spillable objects out of your reach.
• You still love your jumper, you are in that things for hours every day.

Oh, how funny you are, Titus James! We never get tired of hearing your old man laugh and I am really hoping it sticks with you (at least through toddlerhood). Everyone says you look and sound like an old man trapped in a baby's body and I find that to be adorable. Everywhere we go you take in all the sights with your big, blue eyes and long lashes and talk and talk and talk about everything you are seeing. It should come as no surprise that you are a vocal baby seeing as how mommy and daddy like to talk a lot, too. You make every day an adventure for us and we wouldn't change a single thing. We love you to the moon and back, sweet boy.